Street Fighting Man
In these dark times, there’s nothing more prudent than to blow some coin on a specialty peripheral for an already specialized piece of hardware. In my case, this prudence translated into ordering and then receiving a Hori Real Arcade Pro Ex arcade joystick for my Xbox 360. Never let it be said that I am not a prudent man.
The road that led me to this expression of excess was paved by my purchase of Street Fighter 4 on Saturday. I’ve been playing the game pretty heavy since then. I am not very good. In fact, I am not good at all. The problem is that the 360 controller is ill-suited for pursuit of fighting game perfection and it fooled me into thinking that I could do better, if only I had a better joystick.
This niggling thought, this unscratchable itch, by increments small and then larger, led me inexorably to this place, my apartment, last night, pulling six pounds of ebon controller from a box the size of a small suitcase.
The first thing to understand about this strange journey is that you can’t buy a joystick in this country. They cannot be found outside of eBay auctions and back alley come-ons which, if you think about it, amount to about the same thing anyway. You can’t find a joystick in this town. They have been hunted to extinction. They exist not. This is what Street Fighter 4 has done to people. Every videogame and electronics store in the five Burroughs was quickly pillaged. I know. I tried. I looked. I looked hard. It was no good. At each stop, I was too late. The hordes had been before me and only the wan half-knowing smiles of videogame store employees were left in their wake.
I didn’t give up. There’s no room in this world, this turbo, hyper-fighting world for giving up. You either K.O. or you get K.O.’d. It’s that simple. I turned to the internet. I imported.
Two days later, one long journey from Hong Kong later, the brown box covering the shiny white box that enclosed my precious purchase was sitting by my desk. A subway ride and a longer than expected walk later and the thing was in my house, ready to be unleashed upon the world.
I’ve always wanted a serious arcade-style joystick. I just never had a powerful reason, an irresistible compulsion, to get one. I was okay muddling around Joust, Dig Dug, or Pac Man with whatever joypad I had at hand. Street Fighter 4 finally compelled me to follow through and find one.
I’ve only had it for one night so far but already I feel more confident, if still less skilled than the average ten year old competing online. Only now, now I can’t excuse my poor play due to a bad controller design. I’ll only have myself to blame. That and a poor internet connection. And a bad case of sausage fingers. And a flare up of the gout. I’ll be fine. I’ll take it slow. I wouldn’t want to do anything imprudent.
What do you think?